Tuesday | December 12, 2017


1. You have already attacked the decor of the tree
Before December, everything was already in place. It's stronger than you, itches you. Obviously, no question of taking a plastic tree, no smell and no pace! No, you are a purist: you buy a real one, a Nordmann that will last 8 weeks without losing its thorns. For balls, garlands, and other suspensions, you change every year. We must follow the trend, you cannot afford to decorate your precious tree in blue if this year the fashion is white! And if you have a child, you never let him do it: it's only for people of taste, like you. No, not even the star at the top (anyway he's too small to hang on, and with your scoliosis you cannot carry him).
2. You decorate everything that is decorable
Just doing a tree is not enough. If you are in an apartment, you put garlands of light and other plastic Santa to all your windows, and if you live in a house instead you will also put on your roof, your gate, in your garden ... How that, it's expensive in electricity? "The magic of Christmas is priceless" as you like to remember. You also dress your dog, your cat or another with a pretty red Santa hat. And finally, you don’t forget to change your wallpapers and your cover photo Facebook to put pretty snowy landscapes that, for you, reflect the beauty of winter and the end of the year holidays.
3. You collect advent calendars
You buy several a year, all possible and imaginable versions. And as an unconditional fan you scrupulously respect the order, you never know, Santa can punish you if you're not good.

4. You watch all the Christmas movies that are on TV and Netflix this December
There are the inevitable classics: "The Grinch", "Home alone", "The Express Pole", all the "Beethoven" (but yes, the fat St. Bernard all nice) .... and foreign films on Netflix: "The surprise of Christmas", "The Christmas meeting", "A family for Christmas", "Love at Christmas", "The Christmas broom", "The Christmas zucchini "," The Christmas brief "... (not sure that these really exist.)
In short, "[insert here a random nominal group] + Christmas".
You know them by heart by watching them every year, but you don’t get tired. You sit comfortably in front of your TV, dressed in your beautiful red and white bed suit, drinking hot chocolate in your mug where your BFF Rudolph the reindeer. What happiness.

5. You have Christmas albums or playlists 
Where everyone is limited to Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You" and two or three rhymes learned in kindergarten; you find that Christmas songs are a musical genre in their own right and you only listen to that all the month of December. And you enjoy in your car or under your shower (even if it's a little shit everyone, you know it).
6. You have already bought your gifts for your loved ones 
For ordinary people, it's a chore; for you, it's a real pleasure. You take it very long in advance, in mid-November, to have the most beautiful gifts, the most original, and the cheapest ... You even buy gifts during the summer sales (Christmas never goes out of your mind, NEVER), and you force yourself to keep the surprise until the sacred day. And even if you only get a scratch ticket or an iTunes gift card when you have no Apple product back, it does not matter, "it's the intention that counts" as you say.

7. You still do photos with Santa Claus
When you find it at the mall, you absolutely want to have your picture. Besides, the guy knows you. So, you stand in line, among the children and their parents, who look at you wondering where is your kid. Since you shame all your loved ones, no one wished to accompany you; but it does not matter, when your turn comes you sit on the lap of dear Santa Claus and you take a beautiful selfie. And presto, in profile photo on Facebook (which will now match your cover photo).
8. You spend a lot of money on everything and anything that has something to do with Christmas
Red and white bed suits, kitchens pullovers, mugs with reindeer or snowmen, duvet covers, throws, cushions, kitchen towels with small flakes, notebooks decorated with goblins ... Good ok, it won’t be useful that one month in the year, but that does not matter, it will serve next year (in fact, no, you will buy back, stop lying to you).
9. You already apprehend the post-Christmas.
Yes, there will be a December 26th. And that day, winter will really start for you. A winter without goblin, no red carpet on the sidewalks, no ugly sweater. Just a winter of depression, cold and sadness. More than 11 months to hold.


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